You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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