Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize