I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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