PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize