She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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