i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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