I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
