I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
