no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
