Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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