I wannas sexs uuuuu
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
