When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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