i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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