Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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