dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
