i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
