I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
