After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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