i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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