discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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