So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
