whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
