his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
