he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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