We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
