i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
