shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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