Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
