I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
