"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
