just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
