Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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