My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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