Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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