just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
