I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
