Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize