his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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