I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
