Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
