small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
