Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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