i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
