btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
