look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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