Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
