He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
