I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
