look no pants
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
