Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
