I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
