Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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