and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
