yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
