like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
