just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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