Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
