I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
