I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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