I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
