We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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