So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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