oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I deserve this hangover.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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