Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
