dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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