& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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