I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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